


Perseids

by moontourist



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bisexual Dean, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Grey-Asexual Castiel, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marijuana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 14:00:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moontourist/pseuds/moontourist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has been having a hard time, so Dean takes him out to view the Perseid meteor shower.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perseids

**Author's Note:**

> The beginning draft was beta'd by daderain, who, I'd like to add, ruined my life by dragging me into SPN. It was revised and then completed without her keen eye because I was too excited not to post. 
> 
> First fiction work in a long ass time. Hold onto your butts.
> 
> [AN 11/21/15] I reworked the ending! Cas was always grey ace, but I had trouble working in that conversation when I first wrote this. However, I decided to bite the bullet and throw it in.

_what are you doing around 10?_

_scratch that dont care grab that abomination im coming for you at 10_

_Cas you asshole better be ready_

His headphones were plugged into the stereo, effectively drowning out the television show his roommates were watching, and Castiel tried to keep himself from thinking about his job, his classes, or his unfinished homework, of the thesis he’d have to write in two more semesters, the hopelessness of life post-college, and what it would be like to kiss Dean Winchester’s neck – an unusual thought but one that periodically crept up on him.

However, The Smiths weren’t the best choice if he were actually trying to avoid any one of those topics, and Castiel chided himself for pretending that he hadn’t gone into his self imposed hermitage for the purpose of thinking over every single thing stressing him out. When _Hatful of Hollow_ started over for the third time Castiel let out a pitiful sigh and sunk lower into his pillow. He closed his eyes, crossed his arms over his head, and tried to lose himself in the music.

Cas gasped and threw his arms down when he felt the end of his bed dip, hand coming to rest over his heart as he realized Dean had entered his room. “Jesus fucking Christ,” Cas exclaimed as he took off his headphones.

Dean laughed and adjusted his position on the bed, “Heya, Cas,” he replied fondly and looked Castiel over. His dark hair was in complete disarray, the stubble was nearing beard level, and there were huge bags under his eyes. Rumpled clothes were scattered across the bed, the floor, the desk, pretty much anywhere they weren’t supposed to be, and a few empty cans and dirty dishes were piled up on the table by his bed.

Cas squinted his eyes and asked, “What are you doing here, Dean?”

“Dude, get any of my texts?” Dean replied instead.

Cas stared at his hands and answered, “Turned my phone off.”

“Yeah, bet you did. So, what? You just get to go all Hermit the Monk on us, sit around listening to sad bastard music and wear yesterday’s clothes?” Cas rolled his eyes and was about to reply when Dean threw a shirt at his face.

“Dean, you dick!” Cas yelled with fake exasperation, hand already balling the shirt up to throw back at Dean.

“Gotta say, Cas,” Dean smirked as he pushed himself off the bed and walked over to turn the record player off. “Last time somebody rolled their eyes at me they got it much worse than a dirty shirt to the face.” Cas rolled his eyes even harder and threw the shirt back at Dean anyway, who caught it and tossed it on the nearby desk. “So grab your shit, let’s go.”

“What, go where?”

“Whaddya mean, what, go where? Get that god forsaken contraption and let’s go see us some stars, Cas!”

“What, really?”

“Just grab it and come on, man.”

“You’re letting me bring my adapter?”

“Yep.”

“And we’re going to go look at stars?”

Dean nodded in the affirmative, “Yep,” he replied, elongating the vowel. “Gonna go out near the campgrounds at the lake.”

“But you never let me listen to my music.”

“Yeah I do!” Dean replied, a bit more defensively than he’d meant to.

“Birthdays don’t count, Dean.”

“There were other times… there was at least that one other time... eh, shuddup. You know the rules.”

Cas just smiled and got up, silently repeating the driver chooses music mantra while rummaging through the top drawer, certain he’d put his cassette adaptor there. Not having any luck however, Castiel walked back to his record player and started looking under a small pile of clothes. “Found it!” he announced and turned to face Dean, who had picked up a book and was fanning the pages over his fingers. Dean looked back at Cas who was holding the adaptor by the wire and triumphantly smiling at him.

Dean grinned back, took a step closer, and slapped Castiel on the shoulder, “Lessgo, Cas!”

Together the two left Cas’s room and darted past the T.V., waving goodbye to his roommates lounging on the couch.

“Can’t believe you remembered the meteor shower,” Cas commented to Dean as he was locking the door.

“Well you wouldn’t shut your piehole about it for weeks.”

“Dean, it’s one of the most impressive meteor showers of the year, and the nearly new moon makes for one of the best viewings of Perseid in the last several years.”  
“Yeah, so why aren’t you already out there?” Dean asked as they walked up to his Impala.

“I dunno,” Cas shrugged as he waited for Dean to get in and unlock the door.

“That’s bullshit, Cas.” Dean reprimanded. Castiel looked up at him and Dean ran his fingers through his hair. Opening his eyes again and looking at Cas, he replied in a softer tone, “You shoulda texted, Cas.”

Cas smiled ruefully, “but my phone was off,” hoping Dean would accept the deflection and drop the topic.

“Yeah, yeah,” he heard Dean respond as he opened his car door and leaned over to unlock Castiel’s. He hadn’t meant to start nagging Cas; he was trying to make this nice for him. Dean couldn’t be entirely certain when, but the guy had managed to become like family, and since Dean considered Castiel’s biological family to be a bunch of absent dicks, he felt inclined to be protective over the guy. Be that as it may, Castiel still had a way of getting under his skin, frustrating Dean when it came to things like taking care of himself and getting help when he needed it.

Dean dramatically repressed a shudder as Castiel hooked his phone up to the car, and Dean, rubbing the dashboard affectionately, said aloud, “don’t worry, Baby. I won’t let the bad man hurt you for very long.” He heard Cas chuckle as he pulled out of the driveway, and an almost upbeat acoustic song started playing through the speakers. Dean didn’t think he had heard Cas play this guy before; the lyrics, Dean quickly learned but with no surprise, were depressing. “Who’s this, Cas?”

“Jason Isbell.”

“Sounds kinda country.”

“It is kinda country.”

Dean let out a sarcastic, “Awesome,” and with a glance to Castiel continued, “so when’d you start goin’ all friggin’ Garth Brooks on me?”

Cas scoffed, “It’s hardly that, Dean.” Castiel sniffed the air and turned to Dean, “did you get burgers without me?”

Dean smirked and looked back over to Castiel, “Maybe.”

“Damnit.”

“Sucks to be you.”

Cas agreed and leaned back into his seat and stared out the window, trying to catch a glimpse of any meteors they might be missing. He was grateful Dean had picked him up, if not a little curious. Dean had to get up early the next day for class, and had regretfully bowed out of joining Cas when he had originally brought it up. It was already nearing midnight, and he was pretty sure Dean had to be in class at eight. He didn’t ask about it though, certain that Dean would bring it up if he wanted to.

Clinton Lake was about half an hour out from Cas’s places, and they rode in silence for the most part, Cas changing bands every so often and Dean keeping his sarcastic comments to himself for once. There were a few of Cas’s bands Dean didn’t mind, and he wasn’t completely sure, but he had a suspicion that he was finally, after years of exposure, getting Castiel into Zeppelin. As they neared the campgrounds and Dean saw a clearing he turned his car around and pulled off onto the shoulder so they were facing the direction the astrology article had told him to. Cas caught his eye and they smiled at each other again. “You ready, Cas?”

“Yeah,” he replied and stepped out of the car. Dean turned around and grabbed a bag from the backseat, and Castiel raised an eyebrow at him while stretching his arms above his head. Dean’s eyes quickly darted from his face down to Cas’s middle and back up again, silently appreciating the sliver of stomach he had seen.

“What’s in the bag, Winchester?” Castiel walked around the car and made to look like he was going after the bag. Dean swatted his hand away, gave him a wink and told him to wait and see. The two men propped themselves on the hood, Cas cautious at first that the windshield wouldn’t hold their weight until Dean rolled his eyes and assured him it was fine. They could both feel the heat from the engine beneath them and were glad they were wearing jeans.

Once settled Dean pulled the bag into his lap and rummaged through it. Cas kept his eyes averted, feigning disinterest, until he felt something plop down in his lap. “Oh, my god,” Cas whispered, “you shouldn’t have.” Dean just cocked a lopsided grin at him as Cas quickly began unfolding the no longer warm burger. If it had been anybody else Dean wouldn’t have waited, but Cas knew no restrictions when it came to enjoying burgers. Dean had once dared him to eat a frozen White Castle burger from a vending machine, and Cas had gnawed at it for a good fifteen minutes, insisting it was just like a popsicle. Dean watched Castiel’s nose crinkle near his eyes as he took a large bite from his burger. After a few more mouthfuls Cas leaned over Dean, this time earnestly trying to see what else Dean had brought. Dean laughed and handed the bag over to Castiel, who lifted a large thermos out. “Dean, this is a prodigious flask,” he deadpanned.

Normally Dean would have fired back some sort of quip, but instead he just smiled almost sadly and said, “It’s just lemonade.”

“No booze?”

“Just lemons and honey, man.”

Castiel signed, “Probably for the best.” Then after a pause, “You sweetened it with honey?”

Dean had an urge to lie and say he’d ran out of sugar, not wanting to really reveal to Castiel that he had wanted to do something nice for him out loud, but instead just shrugged and said, “yeah.”

“So this is actual lemonade? You didn’t buy it?”

With a touch of exasperation Dean responded, “Yes, Castiel.”

Cas, who had been looking at the thermos, turned to Dean with a wide smile and said, “Dean Winchester, are you trying to seduce me?”

Caught off guard Dean laughed and nodded his head, “if that’s all it takes, then absolutely.”

Cas just shook his head and looked down, trying to hide the stupid smile he couldn’t get rid of. A wave of gratitude washed over the man as he took a sip of the beverage. The sip turned into a deeper drink and a contented sigh as he replaced the lid back on the container. “Dean,” Castiel said as he leaned back against the windshield, “this is awesome.”

“Yeah?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. I mean it. All of this, the burger, this awesome lemonade, driving us out here. This is amazing; you didn’t need to do this. Thank you.”

Dean shifted, uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. Actions Dean were okay with, but words for whatever reason really bothered him. Still, Castiel should be responded to, so Dean just cleared his throat, eyes glued to the sky above them, and simply said, “It’s nothing, Cas.”

Castiel, not satisfied with his response, looked over at Dean and responded, “It’s not nothing to me. This is awesome.”

Dean laughed a little and told Castiel he had already said that, smiling at the tug of pride he felt at himself for influencing Cas’s vocabulary over the years.

“Well, it’s true.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said, trying to make it clear that he wanted Castiel to just let it go, and Cas obligingly kept silent and turned back to look up at the stars. After a few moments of silence he asked Dean if he had seen anything yet.

“Nope,” Dean replied, “think your star show stood you up?”

“That’s not possible, Dean.”

“Well I hate to break it to ya, Casanova, but I aint seen shit yet to contradict that.”

“Dean, you have to let your eyes adjust to the darkness.”

“They have been!”

“Dean, it takes like twenty minutes!”

Dean rolled his eyes and stifled a yawn. Cas heard it anyway and looked over at him. “You’re not getting enough sleep?”

Dean shrugged his shoulders, “you know me. Just need a solid four hours.”

“That is not nearly enough.”

“It is for me.”

“If you’re a giraffe or an elephant that would be true. Did you know that both of those animals only require three to four hours of sleep a night?”

“Yeah? Well there ya go. That’s me.”

“Which one?”

Dean thoughtfully hummed for a few seconds, “I’d say the Giraffe. You can be the elephant.”

Cas looked over at Dean, who had pillowed his hands behind his head, and asked him if he was sure about that.

“What exactly are you implying, huh?” Dean shot back.

In his most serious and deepest voice Castiel quickly responded, “Dean, have ever considered within the realm of all possibilities and endless alternatives that in another dimension you, Dean Winchester, are in fact an elephant?”

The crinkles around Dean’s eyes came out as he laughed and finally responded, “Nah, man, giraffe. Giraffe all the way, always have been always will be.”  
Castiel gave Dean a disbelieving look and then popped the rest of the burger into his mouth when Dean just smiled back. Determined to stop getting distracted by Dean and finally catch a few of the meteors, Castiel copied Dean’s position and leaned back against the windshield, hands propped behind his head as well.

“Son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed as he sat up, disturbing Castiel’s focus on the sky.

“What happened?”

“I fucking forgot the finishing touch!” Dean leaned over Castiel and grabbed the bag back. He reached in and pulled out a ziplock baggie.

Cas squinted his eyes at the bag Dean was holding in front of him and then looked back at Dean’s goofy smile. “Is that what I think it is, Dean?” Cas asked.  
“Well I guess that just depends on what you think it is.”

“Dean, where did you get a joint from?”

Dean shrugged a shoulder and taunted Cas, “a gentlemen never tells.”

“Then that wouldn’t apply to you, Dean.”

He pointed at Cas with a serious expression and told him to watch it.

“Why is it in a plastic bag?” Cas asked.

“I dunno,” Dean responded. “Didn’t know where else to put it.”

Cas smiled and then asked Dean if he had a lighter. He nodded and felt around in his pockets until pulling it out. He handed both to Castiel, who had far more experience at this than himself, and watched as the man pulled out the joint and lit it. Dean didn’t usually smoke, but Cas did and since this night was for him and alcohol wasn’t wise when he was depressed, marijuana it would have to be. Weed by itself usually ended up just making Dean anxious, so he let Cas smoke most of it, occasionally taking a hit and coughing hard every time. Cas chuckled the first time and handed him the lemonade for his throat.

“It’s not bad,” Cas said. “I mean it’s pretty mild. Don’t smoke too much, and you should be alright, Dean.”

“Yes, mother,” Dean responded and took another drag, careful not to get the end damp from his lips the way Cas had taught him. Castiel had cut out a lot of drugs by the time he had met Dean, he didn’t even drink that much, but the guy was still extremely fond of weed. Dean always thought better that than the shit he was doing before though. Cas offered him the joint again but Dean shock his head. Cas took one more drag and then put it out on his shoe and placed what was left back in the baggie he had previously chided Dean for having.

“I take it back,” Cas said after he had settled back against the car.

“Take what back?” Dean asked gruffly.

“Before when I said this was awesome,” Cas responded, “I take it back. Now it’s perfect.”

Dean grinned again and adjusted himself against the car, not caring that their arms were touching. “Good to hear, Cas.”

Cas let out an enthusiastic, “Ahh!” the same moment Dean laughed and said, “holy shit!” A meteor with a green tail had streaked across the sky. “Did you see that?!” Dean asked excitedly.

“It was beautiful!” Cas confirmed.

“I had no idea this was going to be awesome!” Dean responded.

Cas furrowed his brows and responded, “what did you think I meant when I said meteor shower?”

“Yeah,” Dean replied, “but I didn’t know it would like Clark Kent comet level awesome!”

“I don’t understand. Did Clark Kent have a comet?”

“No, he just came down like one.”

The explanation made Cas laugh out loud, “he what?” Cas asked.

“You know, he like freaking came down, from the sky, you know like from another planet, like a comet!”

Cas laughed even harder at Dean’s clarification.

“What is so friggin’ funny?” Dean asked, laughing a little bit but unsure of what was going on.

Cas laughed a bit longer and simply responded, “I am too high for this.”

“Ha!” Dean snapped back, “who needs to take it easy now?”

“It’s not my fault you insist on saying “came down,”” Cas included air quotes, a habit Dean had tried to break him of many, many times before.

“And what is funny about that.”

“It sounds like something from WWE!” and Cas, in a failed imitation of Hulk Hogan, continued, “And that comet’s gonna come dooooown on you, brother!”

“You have smoked yourself stupid, Castiel.”

Cas just waved him off and kept smiling, so Dean, also smiling, took another sip of the lemonade to help combat the cottonmouth he had developed, and handed the thermos back to Castiel. Cas placed it on his other side and adjusted his legs, accidentally resting part of one against Dean but being too content to move it. Maybe Dean wouldn’t silently move away, like he usually did, and Cas could siphon off whatever comfort he could from their accidental contact. Just as Cas was wondering if not moving his leg was creepy, Dean pointed to the sky again and asked Cas if he had seen that one. Cas hadn’t even really been looking at the sky, but just because he wanted to tease Dean some more, he said no and denied that there had even been one.

“Whatever, Cas! You’re just jealous that I’m up two to one!”

“It’s not a competition, Dean. Besides, my vision requires no corrective lenses, unlike some people sitting on this car.”

“That so, Cas? That why you’re always squinting?”

“I have perfect vision, Dean! I can squint whenever I want!”

Both men laughed and focused back on the stars. Both fully aware that their legs were touching and neither doing anything about it. They stayed out there for another hour, half heartedly keeping track of the number of shooting stars they saw. Most of the time they were just a slender white streak, beautiful in their own right, briefly darting through a patch of sky, but occasionally some were truly stunning, with long, colored tails that they both oohed over. They could hear the frogs and various chirps and buzzes from insects around them, along with the wind in the trees and the smell of grass. Castiel took a deep breath and just let himself, sitting comfortably next to his best friend, be glad to be alive. He didn’t try to ruin the moment by over analyzing or saying some kind of petty, positive refrain. He tried not to think at all, just let himself be still and feel.

He looked over at Dean, who had his eyes closed, allowing Castiel to admire the freckles that were so much more pronounced now that it was summer. They had both spent as much time as they could out at the lake, though they both worked and took summer classes. The free time they did have had been well spent though; Dean had even gotten Castiel to learn how to grill a decent burger. He had intentions of getting Cas to learn how to fillet a fish, but their first attempt had been too abysmal. Castiel had gotten so upset Dean shooed him away and told him the fish he caught magically and painlessly turned into the delicious fried strips he enjoyed so much. Castiel had reproached him for patronizing, but was silently glad he didn’t have to pick the knife back up. The insides of fish were truly disgusting.

After far too many yawns the boys gathered up their star gazing supplies and got back in the car. Dean assured Cas he was fine to drive and the two set off along the dark park streets. Castiel put his music back on, picking a band he didn’t think Dean minded too much, and settled back into his seat, hand resting on the window ledge and enjoying the warm summer wind being pushed into the car. The two drove back in silence with Dean occasionally looking over at his friend and debated whether or not he should say what was on his mind. He had taken Cas out for a reason, not that he hadn’t enjoyed the meteor shower, but also to show his friend that he was concerned and that he cared about him. He had learned how to navigate Cas’s depression pretty well, but this had been the worst he’d seen him in a long time. On the other hand, Castiel had been smiling and laughing so much this night and Dean didn’t want to ruin that.

After they pulled into Castiel’s driveway Cas turned to Dean, voice rougher from sleepiness and disuse, and said, “thank you for all of this, Dean.”

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and looked at Cas. His rubbed his hands up and down his legs and with a deep breath he replied, “Look, Cas, I need to know you’re gonna be okay.”

He watched Castiel frown and look out the front windshield before turning his head back and nodding, “I’m alright, Dean.”

Dean shook his head, “you’re really not, Cas.” Castiel’s frown deepened, but before he could respond Dean continued, “look, man, I know nobody bats a thousand, but you have been striking out left and right. You haven’t been showering, I doubt you’re eating right, you don’t answer my texts, you’ve been staying in and blowing everything off…” Dean started to trail off and took a breath before grabbing Castiel’s hand, causing his friend to jump a little and look back at him, “but I know you’re strong. And I know you can get through this. And you know I’m shitty at talking, but I’m here for you if you need anything, anything at all. Okay? So you listen to your chick flick music and you take your hippie shit and you get back on your goddamn bike and do whatever it is you gotta do to get back into fighting shape, you hear me?” And then in a much quieter voice, Dean continued, “I need you.”

Castiel took a shuddering breath, more than surprised at Dean’s outpouring, trying to reign in the barrage of emotions inside of him. His eyes had dropped down to his hand as soon as Dean had grabbed it; he swallowed and placed his other one over Dean’s and squeezed. The quietness pressed in on the two friends until Cas looked back up at Dean. He didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.

“Okay?” Dean demanded back.

“Yeah, Dean.” Cas assured him. “Okay.”

Both men dropped their eyes to their hands and neither of them moved for a few more moments until Dean loudly yawned and involuntarily covered his mouth with his free hand.

“It’s late,” Castiel offered in way of an out for Dean. Dean simply nodded and stared at their hands as his thumb started to softly move back and forth over Castiel’s entrapped hand.

Castiel’s body tensed as his stomach flipped and his large eyes widened even further. Clearing his throat but unable to look Dean in the face he spoke, voice barely above a whisper, he added, “you could just spend the night.” He felt his face begin to heat up from the blush undoubtedly beginning to show.

“Okay,” Dean replied just as softly, letting go of his hand and nodding. He felt as though he were in a dream, as if he were stuck underwater and floating. The two silently got out of his car and walked inside, unsure of where to look or put their hands. Dean settled on his jean pockets as Castiel searched for his keys, more flustered than Dean had seen him before.

Luckily Cas’s roommates had gone to sleep, and they were able to go into Castiel’s room unnoticed. Cas turned on his room’s light and took a few steps inside, finally seeing just how bad it had gotten, slightly embarrassed now. He made plans to clean up some of the space tomorrow, baby steps. He felt as though he were in a state of shock, unable to believe that Dean had actually held his hand. Not wanting to turn around and realize this had all been some misinterpretation but also not wanting to not look at Dean, Castiel ran his hands down his thighs, stemming some of his nervous energy with touch, and turned around. Dean looked as equally unnerved, which Castiel noticed with a bit of comfort. He felt like he was seeing Dean for the first time that night, or at least seeing a part of Dean he never had, so he let his eyes go over his face, relearning every line and curve - staring a bit longer at his lips - before making himself look at Dean’s eyes. They looked worn out, blood shot and unsure of how to proceed. The two stared at each other for a few more moments until Cas cracked a smile, causing Dean to smile too. Castiel turned and walked to his bed and started straightening out his pillows and blankets. He felt Dean walk up beside him and silently watched as Dean, with two fingers, picked up one of Castiel’s socks resting on his comforter.

“Dude,” Dean finally broke the silence that had been resting over them, “you have got to keep your bed cleaner if I’m gonna be over here spending the night.”

Castiel laughed and plucked the sock from Dean’s hand, tossing it onto the floor and reaching over to remove theoretically the last remaining clothes article on the bed. Dean made no attempt to hide checking out Castiel’s well rounded ass as he did, but he went unnoticed anyways.

“Do you need anything to sleep in, Dean?” Cask asked.

“I’m alright,” he responded. And then after a pause, “boxers okay?”

Cas smiled and nodded his approval.

The two took off their jeans, Dean stopping to neatly fold his in half and laid them across a chair, and watched his friend crawl into bed. The two had slept in the same bed more than once, and Castiel cooperatively slid all the way to the right side against the wall, so Dean could have the left, and then asked him to turn off the light when he was done, both too tired to brush their teeth or wash their faces.

Dean crawled into bed next to Castiel and laid on his back, unsure of what he could do but knowing what he wanted. Dean felt like every inch of his body about to explode from nervousness, joy, and anticipation.

“Dean,” Castiel called out into the dark softly.

“Yeah, Cas?”

 “You, uh,” Cas paused, instantly feeling his mouth go dry.

Dean patiently waited as Cas momentarily floundered, pretty sure he knew what Cas wanted to say but also knowing the man needed to get it out himself.

After taking another deep breath, Cas wetted his lips and forced himself to continue, seeking confirmation and desperately hoping Dean would stick around. “You know I can’t really give you everything you want.”  

Dean frowned, and turned onto his side so he could face Castiel’s dark silhouette, his eyes still adjusting to the dark. He wanted to reach out and touch him so badly but held off. Dean knew touching tended to make Castiel uncomfortable, especially when he was upset. “Yeah, Cas, I know…” He trailed off, knowing he should say more but not knowing how.

“So what are we gonna do?”

“I don’t know, man. But we’ll figure it out.”

Castiel let out a self depreciating laugh. “And what if we never do? What if I never can, never want to?”

Castiel’s defeated tone made Dean’s heart clench. A wave of protectiveness took over, and before he could think twice Dean started talking, “I mean it, Cas. Look, I know you don’t…” Dean paused, trying to make sure the next words that came out were the ones he wanted, but they were rushed anyways. “I know sexuality is a lot different for you, and I know you could go your whole life without ever having sex; I remember you telling me that, I just…” Dean paused again, trying to slow himself down, “I just, I’ve tried not being with you, to just be friends with you. And it sucks. I don’t know how it’s gonna work, you know I… I like intimacy. Hell, I might even actually need intimacy. But this whole thing, us?” Dean’s lips pursed as he took a deep breath in through his nose.

Starting again from a different angle he was more comfortable with, Dean began, “Bottom of the ninth, even if I’ve got a million people lined up and waiting on the bench, I’d rather have you.”

There was a moment where no one said anything, and then Castiel spoke up, “These baseball metaphors must to stop.”

Dean, taken aback, paused for a moment, eyes wide, shocked that out of all that, that’s what Castiel had picked out. And then he saw Cas smile. Dean softly smiled back, and scooted closer to him, eyebrow raised, searching for some kind of confirmation and silently waiting to see what Castiel would do.

“I don’t know how much physical intimacy I’ll ever want to engage in, Dean. Kissing you seems appealing, cuddling is nice…” Cas snuggled in closer to Dean to prove his point, then continued, “but anything additional just makes me feel… uncomfortable.”

Dean nodded, glad that Cas was opening up this much to him and setting up parameters so Dean had a better idea of how to respect his boundaries.

“Okay, Cas,” was all Dean said, because, in the end, that was all he needed to say.

The two stared at each other for a few more moments before they both broke out in smiles bordering on conspiratory. Dean reached up and ran a few fingers through Castiel’s hair, leaving it more disarrayed than ever. As he was bringing it back down to his side, Castiel caught the teasing hand and planted a kiss to the palm. Cas held onto the fingers as Dean laid them back down on the mattress, and Dean, taking this for the permission he had been seeking, leaned over and kissed Castiel’s forehead.

Castiel closed his eyes and didn’t even bother trying to hold back his smile. He returned the gesture and snuggled in closer to Dean, tucking his head under Dean’s chin and bringing his knees to rest against Dean’s legs.

Castiel fell asleep breathing in his best friend’s scent, for once not worried about his classes, or his job, or the rent, or his future, just enjoying the feeling of Dean’s fingers gently tracing circles on his arm, grateful for the warmth of Dean’s body and the anticipation that sometime, hopefully soon, he would find out just what it was like to kiss Dean Winchester’s neck.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang out with us and stare at Dean's jawline on tumblr! destieltrashland


End file.
